24 Things You’ll Only Understand if You’ve Applied for a Graduate Job

By April 15, 2020 No Comments

1) Doing the funky air grab trying to get back your application when you’ve sent it in with the wrong company name copied and pasted in.

2) The pain of inputting your GCSE grades for the 75th time that night

3) Receiving an automated email straight after you have filled in an hour long application thanking you for your efforts but rejecting you outright

4) Trying to concentrate on a skills test thrust upon you at the end of an application whilst your housemates cause all sorts of unwanted distractions

5) Clicking next, only to be greeted with a timeout error and all of your work vanishes?—?furiously clicking back to retrieve

6) Applying for jobs posted by recruitment consultants that don’t really exist

7) Doing a group task at an interview and being unable to get a word in edgeways as the rest love the sound of their own voice

8) Guessing all the answers on a reasoning test cos you haven’t got a clue

9) Including every single bit of qualification to make your UCAS points add up to 380

10) Citing “exams” as the ability to handle pressure cos you only once cried like a toddler

11) Listed “socialising” as one of your interests as a codeword for “likes to drink”

12) Putting the salary scale to £38,000 + on Prospects and applying for those jobs alone

13) Applying to Aldi as you like the sound of £40k and an Audi A4

14) Declaring your passion for numerical analysis roles and stating that it is the only thing you have ever wanted to do

15) Googled Times Top 100 and been through every conceivable online application form with a success strike rate of 0%

16) LinkedIn stalked every head of graduate recruitment and got excited when they viewed your profile back

17) Panic set the privacy on Facebook after you attended a talk that told you recruiters looked at your profile

18) Ditto Twitter

19) Ditto Instagram

20) Downloaded a CV template off the internet only to cry after you can barely fill it

21) Copied and pasted a cover letter citing your desire to work as a salesman and sent it to a HR department

22) Declared an undying love for all things Human Resources

23) Panicking and crying. Repeatedly

24) Looking at your student loan balance and laughing cos you’ll never earn enough to trigger the payback

Phill

About Phill

Phillip is co-founder of Kloodle.

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